I spent most of my day at work reviewing recipes. I'm a book editor and 95% of the titles I do are food related. I have access to this incredible database of recipes and for most books, I sort through it to come up a brand-new gotta-buy-it idea.

A few months ago it would have driven me crazy with craving if I had to read food all day. Once food was on my mind, my obsession would grow until I had so much food inside of me, I'd want to puke or until I couldn't take it anymore and I'd go to bed to escape it.

I think I'm still obsessed with food--just in a different way. I don't obsess so much about eating a lot and getting in as much as I possibly could without missing out on a single bite. But now I obsess about making the right food choices...how do I know that bite of [fill in the blank]is really worth the space it's going to take up. I can think about dinner from noon until I sit down for that meal. Now, though, when I do sit down to dinner I'm not instantly out of control. I eat what I planned and then move on. Does that make sense?

I don't know if that's healthy or not. Normal or not. I guess I should just be grateful that I can think about food all day without gorging at night. I wish, though, that I wouldn't have to think about food at all.

The People Have Spoken

I woke up early this morning in anticipation of the 8 a.m. deadline for my poll. What would it be? Shopping? Movies? Social withdrawal?

I was cheering for the social withdrawal and had actually cast my own vote for it. (Even W got to vote for himself.)

But as fate would have it, I must now shop. Oh, the torture.

I actually did do some shopping yesterday and snagged myself a swimsuit (shudder) for an upcoming cruise, some casual tops, 2 pairs of dress slacks for work and...my very first little black dress! Why yes, that slinky black sheath is a size XL (18-20 Lands' End MISSES!), thanks for asking.

I will, however, force myself to go shopping again. Maybe this time for some strappy black shoes. I had a few other non-clothing items on my shopping list, but I took care of those yesterday, too. Shoes. It's shoes, I swear.

If you enjoyed altering the course of my life, why not play social scientist with Craig! This poor guy needs help with Valentine's Day and is hosting a contest of his own on his site: www.renewedreflections.com. Give the man a hand. I'd say you could be a winner...but I'm going to win. Sorry you're going to miss out on that $50 gift certificate. I need it for my credit card bill.

My fate is in your hands...

Obviously, I've been in this dark, murky place in my head for the past week or so. The muck is getting thicker, but it's not going to keep this Sassy Fatty Loser down. So I'm going to do something to cheer myself up and try to break this cloud of gloom and doom.

Want to help? Please vote in my newest poll (at right.) I've given you a few options. Whichever one has the most votes on Sunday morning at 8 a.m. CST is the one I'm going to do. Maybe. I do reserve the right to change my snarly mind.