Larger than Life

I was wrestling with my food demons last night, running through my litany of self-talk. Addressing a chunk of teriyaki steak from a half-eaten Applebees kabob, I said, "I don't need to eat you. I don't want to eat you. You are not bigger than me and can't make me eat you."

(I know, I know. I talk to food.)

Then I had this thought: I have often perceived food, namely my obsession with it, as something bigger than myself. In fact, many things in my world that feel like they are out of my control, beyond my understanding, at odds with my desires or needs, have always been perceived as BIG in my mind's eye.

So I wonder if I made myself physically larger by eating to try to be "bigger" than the problem. The more I struggled with food, the bigger I became. If I was bigger than the problem, then I could beat it.

Now I'm small and I think I finally could be bigger than the problem.

Shameless Plug

A lot of hard work and planning went into The Taste of Home Cookbook. I'm really proud of the great job our team did. It's already soaring up the charts in sales, even beating out the new Rachel Ray book. You should check it out...

You can find it at almost any online retailer, big box store and major bookchain. It's discounted up to 40%. And you get a free 1-year subscription to the magazine.

Don't let me twist your arm. Just go read about it at Amazon.com .

Of course, don't take my word for it. You can hear about it firsthand from Editor in Chief Catherine Cassidy. Can't make her dates? Read about it online!

Then buy it. Or buy multiples. Send it to me and I'll ship it back autographed.

C'mon. Just buy it. Pretty please?

Pound for Pound

The vacation weight is coming off. It's been a difficult week of trying to stay off the scale and stay focused, making good choices and being aware of what and why I'm eating, not drinking too many calories and drinking enough water.

But the pounds are coming off. This morning I weighed in at what I had the morning of my lowest consecutive weight. Now it's a matter of seeing it three days in a row. Or not...maybe it will keep going down.

I was pretty desperate to get the weight back off, but soon realized that a year post-op is a lot different than a month. Losing weight really isn't a given anymore. It helps that you don't have a grumbling stomach and it's a lot easier to load up on water. That's about it.

So I simply went back to basics. Protein shake every morning. Sensible lunch. Sensible dinner. Controlled snacking. Sounds like a Special K commercial.

I've heard of some post-ops so desperate to continue losing weight that they forgo eating regular food and stick to an extremely limited and rather unbalanced diet--or resort to frequent enemas. Sure, stick a hose and a quart of water up your butt to lose a half pound.

I think those behaviors are just as screwed up as mine. Hey, I'm not judging. I think I'm at least to a point where I can see how my eating behaviors are screwed up. And that, my friends, is the point at which you can at least try to change them.

Wish me luck. Again.