Because it's not. The first Christmas in recovery. The first holiday as a newly "divorced" woman. The first new year with so much possibility and so much panic all rolled into one big ball of "what the hell now".
I was out shopping. The anxiety started to creep in. The fear. The doubt. I couldn't decide if I should plan a binge or start restricting. With so much confusion, it was easier to do neither. So I came home.
And now I'm writing this post. Turning to faceless people for silent support. Writing whatever comes...because I can. Admitting that there's really not much "merry" in my overly enthused holiday greetings. For now. In an hour, this may pass. Or not. Either way, I need to chill. I need to stay present. I need to remember that what won't kill me will make me stronger. Maybe a little more crazy, too.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Who said this was going to be easy?
Posted by JUST JEN at 2:29 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
You know what?
In the midst of all the transition, the angst, the craziness, and the recovery, I admire you SO MUCH -- simply for the humanity you display and your courage to display it.
THOSE are profound acts.
The only way out is through, babe, and you're going to make it -- even though this very minute and maybe even the next hour or [insert whatever space of time you wish] may feel utterly crappy.
Folks out here may be faceless, but we're real and I, for one, am wishing you well.
Deluzy
(part of the Sassy Ladies ring)
We're here. We care. You are brave and strong. Just take it one step, one moment at a time. And, as Deluzy said, just get through. Avoiding by binging/purging will just postpone the "getting through" we all need to do. There's no other way but through.
Wishing you all the best.
Post a Comment