I'm off program today. Tomorrow I return for the final day.
I went inpatient at Rogers on January 14. I started the partial hospitalization on January 21. That's 10 weeks.
Transitions are difficult for me. They are opportune times for all my coping skills to suddenly disappear and for the ED to rear it's head. This is no different...but totally different.
Yesterday after I left RMH, I really struggled with ED behaviors. REALLY struggled. It's like the flippin' ED just HAD to prove that it was still there and that it could still hijack me if it wanted. But I survived. I pulled through it. I'd like to say I stopped it in its tracks, but I didn't. I at least had the foresight to put a penny on the tracks and derail it.
So today. Taking care of things around the house. A return visit to my personal trainer. Coffee this evening with a new friend. Little things to pull me through the day.
As I look forward to at least two weeks of free time, I know that I must have small daily tasks or goals to help me through. I have a bajillion appointments during this time. Lots of loose ends to attend to. And one of these days, I suppose I should start to take a serious look at my medical bills. (Don't be surprised if a paypal button appears on the side!)
I'm going to be ok. I am a capable, confident woman who chooses to accept responsibility for recovery, bumps and all. This is my life. This is me. I'm going to be ok.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
The day before "The Last Day"
Posted by JUST JEN at 5:38 AM
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2 comments:
Making changes and leaving your comfort zone can be very unnerving, but you have all the tools that you need to survive. To get back to your life, job and living again a more routine life can be very tough, but you will be able to do it. You know it and we know it. Just take it day at a time. And you know we are here for you for encouragement and support.
you don't know me but i've seen your occasional post on oh. you DO strike me as an intelligent confident woman.
i am pulling for you and know that you dan do this.
take care
judi j
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