Hey, thought you might like to know that I just ate 2 oz of cheese and a wassa bread, even though I wasn't hungry and even though it started to hurt after about the first ounce.
Yep, I just shoved it in and kept chewing and chewing and chewing and swallowed it all. Every last bit.
My gut hurts. I won't be able to shit for a week now. And I still feel like the fuck up I thought I was when I decided I needed to eat so I'd feel better about the chaos I've brought into my life. Ah, the priceless moments of depraved post-op eating.
Someone kick me in the ass, please.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Big fat pig reporting for a spanking
Posted by JUST JEN at 11:03 PM
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5 comments:
I did the same thing yesterday. I was home sick with the flu and pretty down in the dumps and started out with half a bag of pop corn in the morning, then two hours later I had the other half of the bag, munched on some crackers, and even though I was not hungry and was actually kinda full I managed to eat an entire "Pastel en Hoja" (it is a dominican food). My gut hurt and only then did I stop eating like a pig. Old habits die hard babe. Can't kick you in the tush, I am guilty too...
No one needs to kick you in the ass, you're doing that well enough yourself. Be gentle with yourself. You're dealing with some rather significant emotional issues and it's not surprising to have a bit of a slip. Take care of yourself.
I went through a couple of weeks of just out of control eating. It's my stress level. Why did I do that? Put 10 pounds back on. But I can't beat myself up too bad. I'll just get back on track. Maybe. I have to tell myself that it's okay if I don't. But I usually don't believe myself.
I have no idea why I'm telling you this. I guess to let you know that you're not alone.
;-)
I am still waiting on surgery and am eating like a pig about to be slaughtered. I have gained over 15 pounds and kick myself so hard. I can't believe I am so out of control. If I don't have the surgery soon, I'll be up to 400 before I know it. So, if you slip, just pick yourself up, and don't be too hard on yourself. Look where you have come from and how well you are doing.
wow, i haven't shit in a week and I didn't even get to have the cheese to get to that point! I wish I hadn't read this - now I want cheese. And bread. damn.
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