Walk 3 Miles in My Shoes

Beautiful day here in Milwaukee. I took advantage of it by lacing up my walking shoes, snapping on the pedometer and hitting the pavement.

I thought I 'd head south and walk back through downtown. But after about 4 blocks, the lake was calling my name. I veered toward the war memorial, then headed down to Veteran's Park. At this point, I'd already walked about 1.5 miles.

To say I was pleased with my progress is an understatement. At one point, I looked around me and saw people walking, jogging, riding bikes, flying kits, lounging on blankets. I was overwhelmed. A year ago, I would have had trouble walking 2 blocks. I would have avoided being near these active, happy people. I would have missed this gorgeous day, that perfect moment because I was super morbidly obese and nearly paralyzed by my fear of walking in front of people.

But today, I savored the moment and let it be. My leg muscles stretched and warmed with each step. My back held me straight and proud. My throat clenched from the emotion of it. I cried as I walked and didn't care if people saw me--crying or walking. For the first time in a long time, I knew what it felt like to be present in my body, to be present in the moment. It was an exhilarating, freeing sensation. It was mine.

I walked the length of the part to McKinley Marina and then crossed over to Alterra for a decaf breve. I grabbed a cranberry almond scone--not because I was "sneaking" it, but because I knew I could control how much of it I ate. And that was less than half. After 20 minutes of soaking in the sun and chatting with a bench mate outside, I headed up the hill to Prospect Ave, then down to Knapp.

By the time I made it back to my apartment, I had tracked 3.13 miles. I've walked more on the treadmill. I've walked faster when I wanted to. But I've never walked in my own shoes before, never known what it's like to be ME just walking. Until today.