Shopping was fun, but not really. We pored the kid into 26W she SWORE that they weren't too tight, but they looked like they were. I made her sit down to show me that she wasn't going to severe any part of her anatomy when she bent at the waist. She passed that test. And because it was her money and she's 13 and I'm only the shopping mom, not the real mom, I let her get them.
I did mention, gently, that they looked tight. And I explained how amazed I always was when one day my clothes feel great and the next day they don't and how 5 pounds make a huge difference. Lesson stated minus the preachiness...I hope.
No luck with the polos. Another shopping trip on Thursday.
She really did have no idea of what size she was. She'd reach for a men's XL and say they run small. She'd grab a size 18 and say that they don't make pants very stretchy. At one point, I simply said, "That's not the size you wear. You're bigger than that." I would have killed myself if someone said that to me when I was 13. But what else was I supposed to do?
A few more trips down the aisles and a couple of more pulls from the wrong sizes later, I told her "These are not your sizes. We need to go back to that other area. You can buy clothes that are tight or don't quite fit, but I think you'll be wasting your money."
Now that she understood. When the focus was put on money, not size, it was easier to steer her to where she needed to look. Whatever it takes, right?
Thanks for the replies and emails to my last post. They may not help the kid, but they help me.
This situation has dug up some former fatty guilt for me...something I haven't really felt in a while. I feel kind of two-faced in this situation. Survivor's guilt.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Shopping: semi-finals
Posted by JUST JEN at 5:36 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
"Survivor's guilt"?? Oh man, I get it. It's like what I feel when I realize I don't know how to be the "not-fat friend" to the fat women I know.
Dagny
I think what you are trying to do for her is amazing and depressing. It brings me back to my heavy teenage days - when my size 0 best friend would shop for bikinis and I would buy men's jeans because they didn't even carry plus sizes -back then. Or if they did they were matronly. But they are so much better now. What about target? And I wish there was some advice I could give that would shake her world and not destroy her at the same time. This weight gain has to stop and her mom is being useless. She probably doesn't know it but she is lucky to have u.
Candace
There is just. nothing. to. do. in this situation. When I got to that size, it was mail-order from LB.com That's it. And, I was in my very early twenties.
I can't find clothing for my ten year old. I mean, I can, but I hate that I am buying her 14W's --- and they look like obvious "mom" clothes.
Post a Comment