Today at the hospital we headed out to the ropes challenge course. Let me tell you, I FREAK out everytime experiental therapy is on the schedule (which is every day) because it means doing something physical that scares the shit out of the fat kind inside of me.
But today, for the first time ever, I really felt none of the trepidation. I did an indoor challenge last week and worked through a lot of the angst. And yesterday we did a low ropes. So I'm feeling more agile. More confident.
So I just shimmied out that 50 foot pole, stepped out onto a swinging log hanging about 35 feet above the ground. And moved forward. Straight forward. Trusting that my support team would catch me if I fell. Certain I'd reach the other side, 30 long feet away.
It was surreal, occupying this space above ground but below the sky, able to see for quite a difference because we were on a hill. The wind cool against the unexpected warmth of the November sun.
I never for a second doubted that I could do it. So I did it.
I left the fat girl on the ground and for those 15 minutes in the air, I was the confident, capable woman I really want to be. I was me.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
What I did
Posted by JUST JEN at 8:26 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
wow! that's really great. I'm envious.
That's beautiful. And peaceful. And I am sure you felt an enormous amount of strength. Kudos to you.
About eating disorders and gastric bypass patients, I have watched my aunt for two years eat nothing but crackers and champagne. After losing 240 pounds. And shopping so much that she can't afford rent. I'm helpless to her addictions, and am hoping I can learn from your lessons.
Thank you for posting. It has me beware of some of the pitfalls earlier on. I wish the same could have been done for you, but thank you thank you for being a trailblazer.
Post a Comment