I didn't take a sleeping pill when I went to bed last night. And I should have. I fell asleep around 12 and woke up at 2. Awake since then. In 2-1/2 hours I can head to Starbucks for my morning ritual!
I had a pretty good day yesterday. I was 100% compliant with my meal plan--a huge success after a difficult weekend. This plan has me eating every few hours and I always feel full. Always. I've had to get used to eating some foods I had eliminated from my diet under the guise of being a WLS patient. I'mok with sliced bread now. Kind of. And potatoes...but not to much. Pasta is still kind of scary to me.
When I have an internet connection, I troll the internet looking for people who have had gastric bypass surgery and who now identify as suffering an eating disorder. Let me tell you...not many people are admitting to is. I find that utterly amazing. We were people who, most likely, ate compulsively. After surgery, since we couldn't do that, we had to adapt (if we hadn't dealt the the issues surrounding food already.) I know people talk about transference addictions to shopping and alcohol. But no one is really talking about one variety of ED morphing into another. I can't believe I'm the only one.
I wish I could find other bypass patients who now face familiar demons at work in a rewired body. I post on ED boards and get nothing. I post on OH and get nothing. Any one there reading this who's in the same predicament, please contact me. Maybe this will be the new mission of this blog.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Insomnia
Posted by JUST JEN at 3:34 AM
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3 comments:
You, dear Jen are NOT alone. I am struggling very hard with current ED issues. I was not prepared for this. They didn't warn me about it.
I understand about those 'scary' foods, and good for you for sticking to your meal plan.
Still rooting you on!
Jen, you're so not alone. I'm a binge in progress about 16 hours a day.
OMG, I have been doing the same thing! Esp. on the GB forums, and no one has ever related to what I was going through.
Also have the "cross addiction" thing with a couple of other issues.
I'll keep checking back - I have a blog in the works. For now I'm just reading the rest of your site.
I'm so glad I found you.
:)
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