I CHOOSE

...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.

...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

The Final Count Down

Today will be full of errands, last minute lists, packing. Tomorrow...well, I'll deal with it if I get there.

My therapist yesterday made a very astute observation about me. She told me that she thinks I am well-spoken, a good communicator and that I have a way with words. But...(because isn't there always a but in therapy?)...I use words, lots of them, to avoid the simple two or three that would adequately describe my emotions. Hmmmm.

I wonder if that's because I often have difficulty identifying emotions? Am I hiding from them? Or is it my fear of not being understood (and therefore not being capable and worthy) that leads me to over explain without really getting to the heart (or pit) of the matter?

So in the spirit of recovery, I offer these three words to describe my emotions early on this Inpatient Eve day:

afraid

ashamed

angry

Anyone who comes up with a spiffy haiku using all three words before 6 p.m. CST will receive a delightful eating disordered door prize. Seriously. Humor me, kids.

2 comments:

Karen said...

angry and ashamed
you turn these feelings inward,
afraid of yourself

I just found your blog a couple of days ago and read it through from the beginning. You don't know me but your story resonates with me in many ways and I am rooting for you with all my heart.

JUST JEN said...

KAREN!
That's perfect. I'm taking it with me to treatment tomorrow.

Thanks for finding my site. And for thinking about me. Jen

Oh, I'll have a special ED prize for you. I'll email you...please send me your email address using my email link in my profile.