I don't know. I feel like posting, but don't feel like there's much to say.
My car (and about 20 others) hit a huge pothole last night. My tire blew out. Some nice guy stopped and changed it for me. Today I dropped the car off to get it check out because it's making noises. I haven't even yet made my first payment on this car. Geesh.
I came home last night to a returned house key and some odds and ends papers. And today I signed the final paperwork at the lawyer's office. I guess this means my divorce is final.
I didn't purge much today, just once, kind of, but with poor results. I ate something this afternoon and didn't try to purge. That's good. Yesterday I purged whatever went into my body...diet Mt. Dew, coffee, water. Anything. So I'm thinking today was progress.
I don't have any clothes to wear to work. They're all too big. I put on a brand new skirt today and it nearly slid off my hips...and it should have sat at my waist. I don't want to buy anymore...what if I lose more weight?
I think I've convinced myself, given the last 12 hours, that I don't need anymore treatment. I'm sure I'm mistaken. But maybe not. I'll see what the psychiatrist says tomorrow. I pretty much know everyone else's thoughts are. I'm talking with someone from Rogers tomorrow. They may not think I need treatment either. Hmmm.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
what to say
Posted by JUST JEN at 5:34 PM
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2 comments:
Jen, go to the Goodwill store on East Capitol Drive. I "rent" my clothes from there while I'm losing. It's close enough to the North Shore area to get some good name brand stuff (Old Navy, DKNY, Gap, etc.) and it's inexpensive as heck.
I hate not having anything to wear as I'm losing and am sick of wearing the same things all the time! Not complainin', just sayin'!
Lisa in Mke too
jen,
man, i read your blog and my heart hurts. my chest gets all tight and i stop breathing. because i know that pain and suffering you are stepping in and out of...i feel for you, sister. you are so smart and cool and thoughtful, i know you will figure it out. what sucks is the ups and downs and that often, things get worse before they get better. my first therapist told me that and boy, was she right.
keep blogging, getting support and doing what you need to in order to take care of yourself.
thinking of you often!
jenn
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