I've received a lot of requests lately from people who read posts of mine on this blog or other websites. They ask my opinions on weight loss surgery, eating disorders, should they have it, do they have it, etc.
I wish I could be more effective in reaching out to those folks. I often write back and then fear that I sound too harsh, too fanatical, too rigid in my own thinking. I try to write from my personal experiences, ranging from super fat chick to trying to cut off my fat chick to want to be healthy chick. I don't know if I ever help anyone.
I wonder if I should stop offering my opinions. I try not to offer advice. What works for one person will not necessarily work for the next. I'm just happy to share what's been my experience and let people take from that what they want.
It's just hard. I feel sad when someone writes and tells me their secrets--the same ones I've kept for years. I want to help. I want to warn. I want to be there for them. But I sit here, 2-1/2 years out from gastric bypass, just about 6 months into treatment for bulimia, nearly 41 years of feeling like crap in a body that's never quite fit my soul. What can I offer? What really can I do?
I'm not an expert. I don't even play one on the internet. But I will read emails, listen to voice messages and respond whenever I can. Just don't expect the solutions from me. Those come from within each individual. If this path I take creates a map of must-travel, avoid-at-all-costs roads to fulfilling personal development, then hurray for all of us. You can send me a check in the mail and thank me on Oprah.
I just want to be happy with myself. I want other people to be happy with themselves, too. But that's up to them. That's up to you.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Am I crossing the line?
Posted by JUST JEN at 11:12 PM
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4 comments:
For what it's worth, your email helped me. I really appreciate you taking the time to write back to me with your thoughts and advice.
Happy Easter Jen!
Your last paragraph there pretty much sums it up. The first thought that popped into my head while starting to scan this post was 'how can she help other people when she needs to be focusing all her energy on herself'? That's not to say you can't help other people, help *I* have asked you for help, and you were very good at giving it.
Just don't lose yourself in the process. You gotta take care of Jen.
And remember you DO help. Writing these words helps. For every person that you get an email from, there are probably a couple more who read and relate but who don't email or comment. But they feel some sense of peace because they know they are not the only ones.
Thanks for all the help you given me, and keep on taking care of you.
With all the junk I've been experiencing related to my WLS has made me want to holler from the roof top---NEVER HAVE WLS. But that's unrealistic. There will always be someone who who wants it. All I can hope to accomplish is give them all the research I can find on the good AND bad. That way they can make a truly INFORMED decision whether having the surgery is a viable option.
The surgical centers prime objective is convincing each person that OMG you MUST have this surgery or die basically. It's a lot more complicated than that. There a many shades of grey in there. But each must choose there own path. For it is their journey and they will have to travel it once the decision is made.
Yet none of us can fall into a trap where we take on others problems and neglect ourselves. I am terrible about that. Concentrating on other people means I don't have to focus on how bad I am. That's certainly no way to take care of me.
...I get a lot of that too, "Should I have WLS, because you have low blood sugars and maybe I will too?"
I think it's all about awareness now.
You have opened a whole new awareness to the world that many of us didn't really know, or want to know, and some still have blinders on...
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