I'd rather...

...be sitting on a warm, sandy beach than in my pig-sty living room.
...weigh 35 pounds less than what I do.
...have socks on instead of tennis shoes.
...have money to pay my mortgage and less worry.
...sleep than suffer.
...drink than eat.
...write than read.
...be quiet than talk.
...hide than huddle.
...stay lost than take the wrong path.

Whatever. I'm screening calls today. I have nothing to do until 9:15 tomorrow morning. My throat is raw and can't handle any solids. Thank god my replacement Tassimo machine showed up this morning. At least it's a day of lattes Can't be all bad.

WTF!?!

It CAN be all bad. The friggin' BRAND-NEW machine DOES NOT WORK. It did a great job of heating water. And then all lights blinked and died. It's going to be another three weeksbefore a new machine shows up. And I am pissed. I would have even put protein in a latte.

I want my therapist to call. I left a message on the emergency pager last nigt and haven't heard a thing. Either her partner is monitoring the message system and didn't think that I was desparate enough or my own therapist thought it could wait until tomorrow morning. And now it can't. And not just because of the coffee machine. Because of every other thing that is making my skin crawl and stomach churn and my heart ache. Because I hardly feel like I have enough energy to keep breathing all day.