Food SUCKS

Crappy, crappy, crappy food day. Or it least it feels that way. Here's what I shoveled in:

• Protein Shake
• Ostrich Burger with cheese
• Applesauce
• Mozarella Stick
• Soy Crisps
• Lentil Soup with cheese
• Rice cakes

I look at that list and it doesn't seem so bad, except that it was HOW I ate. And that was like a cow: grazing.

It was a stressful day at work and my first reaction was to reach for food. Even when I got home tonight, I couldn't stop. It was probably a huge mistake to think that I could handle anything even remotely resembling, tasting or crunching like chips. I never should have bought them. If they're in front of me, they might as well be inside of me, because that's where they are going.

I wish my head could have been rewired like my gut was. I read a lot about head hunger. People told me about it. Why did I think I'd be immune?

I tell myself that tomorrow will be another day. But it's another day with popcorn cakes shoved in the bottom of my desk drawer, waiting for me to be pissed off, bored, crazy, giddy, goofy, and to reach for the bag and start inhaling. I know I should just throw them away. I'd like to think, though, that I had some self-control. Then again, if I had self-control would I have ended up where I am now?

God, food sucks. And so do I. Today.