Open the flood gates and let the food in!

What a crappy food day. From the moment I woke up, I've been thinking about food. Every kind of food. When I can eat. How much I can eat. Wondering what would happen if I eat a scone or a candy bar.

I started out with the best intentions. I drank about 6 ounces of water when I got up. I suck at getting in water. Drinking sucks. If I'm not thirsty, I do not want to drink.

For breakfast I had a South Beach Cereal Bar. Maple Nut. Yum. Then I had a cup of wretched, disgusting decaf coffee. Well, I was going to have a cup. But it was so nasty I tossed it. I miss caffeinated coffee. Decaf tastes like someone sprinkled hot water with used grounds. I used to roast my own beans. I still have about 10 pounds of green beans. But they aren't decaf. I could buy some, but will they taste even half as good as regular? Probably not.

So by mid morning I decided I wanted a snack. I wasn't hungry, just wanted to crunch. So I had some flat wheat cracker thing. 2 of them. And a slice of cheese.

Then we went to lunch at our friend's gallery. Had a crab cake. 3 oz. Tasted Rose's scrambled eggs, tasted her cantaloupe, tasted a corner of her cinnamon coconut scone. I WANTED MORE!

When we got home, I started in on the water again. Slow going. Then a couple hours later I ate the rest of my fake pumpkin pie pudding. And at that point, I could have opened the fridge and shoveled every last damn bit of food in my mouth. So I left the house.

Obviously, I'm back home again. But I'm heading up to my art room. Yep, there's a refrigerator up there. But it only has a couple bottles of water and a quart of 6-week-old grape koolaid. Busy hands. That's what I need.

I hate the weekends and the lack of structure for me. The work week with its meetings and projects and BS keep my mind away from food. I focus on what I should focus on. I guess I'm glad tomorrow's Monday.