Actually, I knew this week would come. I've hit a plateau and this is my first. Others with surgery dates close to mine have hit their first stall--and moved on from it. I thought maybe I'd be the first WLS patient to not have a stall. Yeah, sure. But it's been a good 2-1/2 weeks since the scale has moved. And, in fact, it's actually gone up over the last 2 days.
Besides being incredibly frustrated about all of this, I feel like I'm out of control when it comes to food. Part of it is the whole girl "thang". But I know another part is testing the waters. I think I can eat something, so I try. Or I want to munch...and it doesn't end. Or I eat more frequently than I need to. Or I don't plan my meals and I wing it (and then wish I didn't). I feel like I'm on the verge of screwing it all up. Old habits in a new body. Might as well still weigh 317 pounds.
I envy people who don't have cravings, who don't care about eating, who miraculously have their brains rewired post-op and don't deal with this crap. Or at least they say they don't. It's obvious to me that I can either fix this now and clean up my act or I can surrender to the food abuse. I'd give anything to not let that happen. Guess I better figure out a constructive, proactive way to deal, cope, kick myself in the ass.
I so hate being human.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
I knew this day would come
Posted by JUST JEN at 10:28 PM
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3 comments:
I feel for your frustration I am three and 1/2 weeks out and cant stop craving things. You are doing Great! Dont let the stall discourage you. Try measuring sometimes you may be loosing inches in lue of pounds. :)
Hey Lady~
Is you body craving nourishment? Maybe you could try looking at what's going on from that perspective. If you had to choose how to provide good food choices for, let's say, your niece, what would you give her to eat? Just a thought I put out there because the being a food addict myself, I can relate to the need/craving/desire/compulsion thing to eat.
Can you satiate the craving with some sort of high protein food? Something you can chew and enjoy chewing? More thoughts here.
And one last thing. You didn't go through a huge, life changing surgery, with all of the successes you've had, to just give in when it gets a little rough. I know that is true.
You have had a lot of successes and you aren't the same person you were @ 317lbs -- not in weight or in attitude.
So you're having a bad day or couple of days and you are entitled.
But make that plan at some point and tell that voice that wants to go back and binge to stick it!
I'm on your side sister!
Best,
KT
Oh Jen! I was so there over the past few weeks - I had a good 2-3 with no movement and it sucked. I thought I was going to be one of the lucky ones too...alas.
Here's the deal though: it's a plateau, it will pass and you will make it to your goal. Promise. For me it was a little reminder that I don't get it for free, so to speak, and I have to keep on my game...but that periodically we need a breather - emotionally, and physically (I think the 'ole bod has to catch up). When the scale did move, it dropped 3 pounds - solidly. So just be patient with yourself.
On the more logistical side, I have to admit that I felt like I was creeping out of control; with the band getting a fill is a good reset button - but even without that, I sometimes just do a week of resetting - 2 days of liquids, 2-3 days of soft/mushies. Then solid food seems to just fill me right up again! Just an idea, but somehow it jumpstarts me every damn time.
It'll move again! Promise!!
~jenn
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