Two things.
1. Yesterday I saw a therapist. I've been wanting to start this since early on after my surgery. And my recent cranky-crabby-freako thinking made me realize I had better get off my ass and do it. If couldn't lose weight on my own, what makes me think I can fix whatever it is that's screwed up in my head on my own? Not that I'm a psycho or anything. But I know enough about myself to realize when I need some guidance from someone with a bit more insight than myself.
2. Tonight I met a young girl that I hope to mentor. She's sweet and a little bit sassy. And I see a lot of myself at age 12 in her. She thought I was cool. I could be her flippin' mother, and she still thought I was cool. She likes to read and write, and some day she wants to be a judge. I think I love her already.
It's interesting to me how so many connections in my life are starting or stopping. Ones that seemed like they'd last are suddenly tenuous. Those newly formed seemed remarkably electrified. I feel like people who've just met me know me better than people who've been around me so much of my life. I can think of very, very few instances where my interactions with and reactions to people haven't changed since my surgery. Yet I'm still not convinced--or feel--that the essence of who I am has been altered.
And isn't it a bit ironic that the same week I seek help because I don't feel strong enough is the exact time I open myself up to someone who needs a solid, secure force in her life?
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Thursday, February 09, 2006
The people that you meet
Posted by JUST JEN at 9:48 PM
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2 comments:
Great news about the therapist. For almost all of use the weight was never the problem, It was a symptom of a bunch of other stuff.
They grey mass between our ears is definitely the best place to work on things.. Be careful though, I for one know that my brain is a very dangerous place to be alone. hehe
Blessings,
Craig T
Jen,
You nailed it. I was thinking about my life a year ago and who was in it and how it all was...and now I look at the people closest to me and it's like a whole new ballgame. I think too that there is something about those people who never knew you 'before' - it's like you get to meet them as you now, and though I agree, fundamentally I feel like I'm still "me", those around me who have withstood the changes assure me I am different in many ways.
Good work on gettin' the shrink. I started up right after surgery and she is kicking my ass in a good, good way.
xoxo
Jenn
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