I'm coming off four days of bad food. Bad food choices. Bad food experiences. Bad food habits. Just plain bad.
I've eaten too much, too often, too fast. I've eaten rich foods, fatty foods, junk foods. I've eaten too much when I'm with people and I've eaten too much in secrecy.
Crackers. Cheese. Peanut Butter. Eggs. Coffee drinks. Bread. Popcorn. Fast nibbles. Slow gorging. Way more than my pouch really needs. Oh, and I've had beer--not worth it. And a glass of wine.
I don't know why I've been in this place. I think I'm doing ok and then BAM! My hand is going to my mouth and my brain's not stopping it. Putting it in perspective, I have not eaten more than I would have pre-op. But it's more than I need. I average 900 calories a day. And I've eaten probably around 1400 on a couple of these days. Not necessary.
I can't even say I'm eating to avoid anything (that I know of) or eating to hide something. All I know is I want it to stop. I want to stop.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Demons
Posted by JUST JEN at 6:16 PM
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3 comments:
I know you can get off the bad cycle ride. I have been there lately. Many more times than I care to admit. The fact that you have recognized it after a few days shows that you want to change it and go back to normal pouch eating habits. You can do it!
I'm drunk
I soooo know where you're coming from when you say that. Just wish I knew the answer. If you find it, let me know. I want it to stop too.
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