I CHOOSE

...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.

...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Like mother, like daughter

I traveled north for the weekend to spend some time with my mom. My dad's in Florida loading up the grandfolks for the last great migration north. Mom's lonely. I was happy to oblige.

We had a nice weekend. A really nice weekend. I love how my mom is nearly as giddy about my changes as I am. She indulges my new whims. She makes me try on clothes that I think are too small for me--because she knows they aren't. She gets excited about the little changes that other people don't always see.

For a long time while I was growing up, I felt like my mom was the enemy. After all, she nagged me my whole life about my weight. She took me TOPS when I was 7. She let my brothers eat things she wouldn't give me. As an adult, I realize that she simply was doing her best to keep me from having the same weight issues she had as a child, teen, young adult, woman.

Now, for the first time in my entire adult life, I weigh less than my mom. I wonder what that's like for her. I know she's thrilled for me and wouldn't want anything for me but the success I've had. But I think about how it makes her feel about herself. I know it's not my responsibility for what she feels. It's just that whole mother/daughter thing.

Anyway. It was a great weekend. We went to a baby shower this afternoon for my second cousin. One of my aunts looked directly at me, made eye contact and didn't recognize me. My other aunt, who knew I had surgery and had lost weight, said I look like my mom now. That's not such a bad thing.

2 comments:

bye said...

" I know it's not my responsibility for what she feels. It's just that whole mother/daughter thing."

Insightful and true. I love how you write lady.

Anonymous said...

I understand how you feel. I saw my mom last March and I too for the first time weigh less than she does. It was very strange for me and I imagine for her as well. My mom too saw weight loss and changes in my body that no one has pointed out yet.