In the past I have been hypercritical of post-op WLS people who criticize fat people, look down on them, etc. Hey, we were there--we were them--once upon a time.
And while I thought I was superior in my empathy and acceptance, I am beginning to realize that I am repulsed by huge, over-sized, cellulose laden, mishapen asses. And the people who think they look good with them.
There's this woman at work who has one such ass. It's big. And, speaking as a lesbian, I often appreciate ample asses. But this one is big and the owner has a lack of understanding regarding her girth. Some asses should not sport thongs and low-rise pants. Hers. One of them.
And now she's pregnant. In some ways, I am mesmerized by pregnant bellys and the cool shapes they take on. Her's isn't so bad. But her ass is growing and she's still wearing the same thongs. You can see that tiny strip tugging at the top of her crack through her too-tight pants.
Part of me can't help but stare. Part of me wants to puke.
Maybe what turns me off the most is this person's apparent (assumed on my part) lack of self-awareness. How could she not see that her ass is not meant to wear the pants she puts on? And how the hell can a thong be comfortable when you're pregant? Tell me!
My partner has a big butt. I like it. Even when she was smaller, she had a big butt. So why does this other woman's ass freak me out?
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Confession time
Posted by JUST JEN at 9:54 PM
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5 comments:
Watch out them arses bite. I had one of those, and every time I regain more than just a little, it Comes Back. I am also repulsed by them, even if I sport one. My husband sported one, too, (a flabby ba donk a donk) and now is the owner or zero ass.
Maybe your digust is moreso about the way she is blatantly unaware --or worse, maybe even thinks it looks good.
If the same thing happened to someone you knew was fighting the fight, so to speak, would you still feel repulsed?
Having been plus-sized and pregnant concurrently I know it's a challenge to find plus maternity, but it does exist! That being said, I've seen a lot of things on plus-sized pregnant people that leaves me thinking, "Sister, just because they make it in your size, doesn't mean you have to wear it."
Anyway, hope she gets a clue.
I don't think I'd feel the same way if someone I knew was trying to look good, but just didn't. It's her lack of self-awareness that I hate. Donna, you're right. Just because they make thongs in size 13 doesn't mean anyone who is that size should be wearing
I've been painfully honest about my issues with fat women and my struggle to understand my feelings. Eventually I realized exactly what you're saying. Best case in point: the women I named "Bread Basket Woman." I've seen her parade around mostly naked and hit on younger men, sprawl herself across a couch in the most unflattering manner possible, and of course, stuff her face with huge amounts of food while oblivious to smacking into me over and over. I was completely disgusted by her and I realized it was because she was not the least bit disgusted by herself! I know this is HUGELY judgmental of me and I really ought to be, at the least, indifferent to how she or anyone wants to live and behave.
But for right now, I'm grossed out by people like her though as I have written, I do think I'm becoming more distanced. I seem to be less viscerally affected than I was before. I wonder if that will evolve out of me as I grow more accustomed to who I am now. I think it probably will.
Give yourself some latitude to feel the way you do right now and remain open to how you will continue to change ways you feel and think. I believe it's all part of the life- and mind-altering WLS process.
I have always been of the same notion as above, just because it is made in larger sizes does not in anyway mean it should be warn. I know that until just recently I had not only a big butt (which I like having) but a FAT ASS, which by it's very nature is misshapen and not nice and round. I made sure that I always wore nice underwear so as to contain and smooth said FAT ASS. As a Lesbian I too enjoy a big butt...but a nicely dress one.
I agree my attitude would change depending on what the person is trying to accomplish and if she was trying to make herself look better with the appropriate undergarments.
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