Milwaukee recorded it's 17th homicide of 2007 early Saturday morning.
The newspaper article in the Journal Sentinel didn't name the 22-year-old man, but I can tell you his 13-year-old sister called him Jay.
There's lots the story didn't report, but his family could. Like how his chest looked like a gaping hole from the the bullet wounds. How his 16-year-old brother watched a shooting unfold, and then sat (maybe still sits) in jail while the police sort out a half dozen stories. How his mom worries about burying her oldest child, the one that came with her to Milwaukee when she was 19 and he was just 1.
I have never been remotely connected to this type of violence. For the first time, I'm seeing it sweep up a family in grief, anger, confusion, shock.
I don't know what to say when a 9-year-old tells me that she knows he got shot, but why did he have to get shot so many times? I don't know how to answer the 3-year-old who repeats, repeats and repeats "Jay's dead."
When I got to know Raven and stepped into the mentor role, I knew her life was different than mine. I expected to show her options, give her hope, offer her an alternative to her world. I didn't expect to be offered one to my own. I didn't think I'd be walking in hers. Naive of me, I know.
But here I am. One 13-year-old girl away from No. 17.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
No. 17
Posted by JUST JEN at 6:15 PM
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2 comments:
Hi Jen,
Take it from someone who also hadn't been connected even remotely to this kind of thing but who is dealing with a horrible nightmare called murder, this will never make sense. The only way to be there for those who loved him is to be there. Quietly when they need to talk, talking when they need to listen. Help them grieve, grow, and mostly learn from this tragedy. When life sucks we can only hang on to the very stuff that you wanted to give her in the first place and pass it on.
Say the word if you need anything. At this point I feel very versed in this issue.
Amy
Jen,
There are no relationships in life in which we enter only to give. We may not realize that we will receive, and certainly in the case of mentoring, this was probably not why you entered. But thankfully, you did. You are in a unique position to give your mentee some stability and hope in a chaotic and hopeless situation. You will learn what a culture of violence and 'less-than-ness' might feel like.
What gifts for the two of you. My condolences.
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