A great benefit to WLS for me has been the ability to process my emotions and communicate them to other people. I'd never been good at talking about my feelings. I let things eat at me while I ate everything in sight. Now that I can't eat everything in sight, I have to deal with emotions.
But my dealing with them isn't always easy for other people. I understand that when people hear my thoughts that it could be confusing for them. Unexpected. Maybe even terrifying. So I also try to couch my feelings in appropriate language. I feel, I sense, I think, I see...
Even so, I still feel like I'm damned if I share and damned if I don't. I haven't yet learned how to react to people when their reaction to me is not what I expected or is the result of not hearing my intentions. I sometimes end up feeling even worse about a situation than I did before initiating conversation. I just want to retract everything I've said and walk away from them. And eat a cookie.
Then I'm back where I started: eat food to stuff down emotions. Shit. It just plain sucks and I feel so ill-equipped to deal with it. I wish I could shut down and walk away like I used to. But being present in my life doesn't allow it. What's a girl to do?
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Damned if I do, damned if I don't
Posted by JUST JEN at 8:17 AM
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3 comments:
Just wanted to say hello and thanks for the great blog. Lots of good reading and I'll add it to my faves.
I dealt with this this morning. I wanted to drown myself in chocolate but instead I drank crystal lite and cried. I don't feel like I can really get across what I'm feeling either. Next time I will just walk away.
I see two issues here: #1 You're breaking through barriers you avoided before. You know you'll be better for it! You will. #2 You're talkin' to Miss Understood over here. This turbulence we put ourselves through brings up some stuff that's not always nice. We still have to process it. I think you know certain people who'll have some idea what you're dealing with. And I think they're OK with getting phone calls anytime too.... Really. Anytime.
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