Wisconsin State Fair on a Stick

It's that time of the year...blue ribbons, beer and cream puffs. I'm talking about the Wisconsin State Fair. If you're not a Midwesterner, you probably don't have a clue or don't care about state fair. And neither, really, do I. Except for the food, of course.

My formerly fat self lived for the days of fair gorging where everything is served deep fried and on a stick. This was my first visit post-op. All the food looked good...but taste is another story.

Mid day, I decided to eat something...but what? The options are limitless...from roasted corn on the cob to ostrich burgers to deep fried cheese curds. But I opted for traditional fare: a corn dog.

The first bite was heavenly. Dipped in ketchup, the breading was crunchy and the beefy dog juicy. The second bite was just as good as the first. The third bite started to turn my stomach. The fourth bite never happened because I gave the corn dog to someone else to finish. Thank god I didn't waste the money on a footlong one!

It wouldn't be the Wisconsin State Fair without cream puffs. They have some crazy production line that lets them churn out a bazillion pastries every day. The line to buy the cream puffs looks formidably long, but the expediters keep it moving and in minutes you'll find yourself at the front, forking out big bucks, covered in powdered sugar and ready to feast.

I was looking forward to one of these babies. In fact, I had psyched myself to eat an entire cream puff. It's all cream and light pastry. It should fit, right? Ah, not so fast there, altered one. I scooped the cream with the top pastry, savoring the sweet coolness. I grasped the base pastry piled high with cream and bit in, cream oozing over my lips and out the sides of my mouth. It was heaven. But there wasn't room in the pouch for all things divine. I ended up giving most of the puff to my dad. This was the moment when I wished I had a full-sized stomach.

And that was it for food! I did sample about 8 different wines in the wine-tasting building. Cheap buzz. Some surprisingly good wines. Oh, I did buy some ostrich and some elk meat sticks. I know that sounds gross, but they are very low fat and ramped with protein. And since that was the only thing in the Wisconsin products pavillion I could eat and I was feeling left out and willing to support the state economy in way other than taxation, I bought them.

We've got tickets for another day. The fair doesn't end until the 12th. I've had my fill of food. I'm going back for the music. And the wine.

On Wisconsin!