I was devastated this morning when the scale read 171.6. One lousy day of bad food and it jumps right back up. I hate that damn thing. I can't live without that damn thing.
I've been to see both of the therapists I mentioned. I'll see them each again. Different styles. Different focuses. There's enough of the screwed up me to go around for everyone!
You might notice I removed some crap from this page. got rid of my vital stats because they were upsetting me. Weeded out some things on my links. Got rid of my fat picture. The video may be going,too. Haven't decided. I'm cleaning house. If I can't strip my body to the bare bones, I can at least whittle down this blog.
And speaking of this blog, I'm finding it difficult to post here. When I started this a couple years ago, it was just me, myself and I. And now I get a ton of daily hits from people. Some know me well, some know me not at all. But it's hard for me right now to have my life opened up to anyone to comment on...hell, to even look at. Some things I don't want people close to me to know about. Some things I'm not ready to admit.
So I may not post a ton on here for a while. We'll see. I'm feeling vulnerable and reclusive. I don't want to hear any more "you can do it" or "it will get better" or similar cheers. I know it's all true. I just don't feel it. And when I read that, I feel worse because I'm NOT feeling better.
There you have it. Probably the most honest I've been on this page in ages.
It's a new week. I already feel behind the eight ball with that 2.6 weight gain. I already feel like I've got too much on my plate today trying to figure out how to maneuver through my food choices. Long day. Long week.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Monday, October 15, 2007
New week
Posted by JUST JEN at 6:01 AM
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2 comments:
Oh. Jen. Don't leave. I'm not going to cheerlead you in the least. There are so many of us out there that get it. Many, who aren't brave enough to deal with or share it in the leas.
Last year when I was studying for the broker's exam I really got sick of people telling me "Oh you'll pass it." I would have preferred they just tell me good luck, do my best, whatever. But it felt like they were setting me up for the worst kind of failure if I didn't pass.
I've tried not to go over the top with you but still let you know I'm here for whatever YOU want to talk about. Even if it's just diversionary to get your mind off of stuff you don't want to think about.
Do whatever you think you need to do.
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