The 19th marked two years of this blog. Two years of writing at first what I thought would be for me, then became a way to connect to other people, then it was for other people. And now I really need it to be for me.
I censor so much of what I write here because I am afraid of judgement. I want to portray a picture of success. I want confidence and charisma to exhude from every word and phrase. So most times it does.
And when it doesn't, when it slips into honesty and self-examination, I feel I will let down the people who come to this address for encouragement. For hope that life gets better when you're thinner. That life is easier when you're lighter.
In fact, it can be. But it necessarily won't be.
I'm still in Atlanta. I might stretch my time here a little longer. I haven't decided. While here, I've felt relief from my eating and internal demons. I know that doesn't pacify them for good. But the break--it's sweet. Sweeter than any food I could let pass my lips.
The land of milk and honey.
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Two years of posting
Posted by JUST JEN at 7:19 AM
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4 comments:
One of the things I admire is just how candid you are. I totally understand about how your blogging needs to be for you, so just do whatever it is you feel is best (not that you need permission!). Just know that there are many here who support you and won't ever pass judgement on you. I hope you find peace.
Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen. I love reading your honesty.
People need to know that THIS AIN'T EASY. We pay for what we've got now. You're being honest about the price.
Dagny
As someone who is newly post-op I really appreciate your honesty. If all I wanted was someone who would blow smoke and flowers up my ass I'd read a Stepford wife's blog.
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