Who am I?

I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle read A New Earth. I loved listening to The Power of Now. This has been a good extension of that.

Yesterday I heard him say that we best define ourselves by who we are NOT versus who we are.

I find that a hard concept to wrap my head around. I have always defined myself by the roles I have assumed in my life. But as those roles and responsibilities change--either because of my choosing or because of circumstances brought about by the choices of others--I realize that I do want to change this perspective. I just have a hard time saying what I am NOT because my logic wants me to then add a "but" and the opposite of that NOT as an I AM. Follow?

So I thought I'd start a list. I first wanted to say that I AM NOT AFRAID. But I am. I AM NOT FAT...a judgement call and not one that someone in my position should be making. I AM NOT ALONE. This I can believe. This is TRUE. No matter how lonely I might feel, I know I am not alone. So if I am not alone, does that mean I'm loved? Ah...the sticking point. I don't know that for a fact. But I think I can deduce with some sort of confidence that if I am not alone, then I must at least be approachable on some level and that could also make me both likable and, dare I say, lovable.

The problem with this whole concept is that my black and white thinking quickly pushes any definition to one end of the spectrum or another. In fact, my thinking dictates there be a definition. Why not just be ok with I AM. Maybe I need to think in terms of I AM HERE. I AM NOW. I AM...fill in the blank with given facts, not judgements or emotions.

What do I know for certain about myself? I AM ABLE TO CHOOSE. I AM ABLE TO EMOTE. I AM ABLE TO BREATHE. For today, that's enough. It's a lot more than I've been able to do on some not so distant days in my life.

For today, it's not what or who I am or am not. It's simply I AM.