I CHOOSE

...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.

...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Food Shortage

So there's a food crisis. And for 99% of the world, that's bad news. Really, it's rather horrific when you think about it all. How can there NOT be enough food? How can we price it so high that it's unaffordable? How come a dozen eggs cost $2.59?

Here's where the guilt kicks in. Hey, I work hard at vomiting and avoiding perfectly good, already paid for food. In fact, I end up wasting a lot because I just don't get through all of it. Part of me thinks I'm going to eff up the world karma with my ED issues. There are starving children in Africa (and also about 6 blocks from where I live) and I am piggish, wasteful and ungrateful. And always have more than I need, want or deserve.

And now for a little deviousness...I will stop buying food that I would waste. In fact, for the next couple weeks, no grocery shopping. I'll eat what's in the house. I'll work my way through the jello cups, fiber cereal, tortilla wraps, SF jelly and celery. The freezer is stocked with entrees from DietTWOGodotCOM. (Bad idea. Still stuck with two weeks of high-fat, low-carb meals with scary calorie totals.) I even have a box of brown minute rice, so I won't have to stalk the Sam's Club aisles. See how my ED will help bring the world in balance?

I don't mean to be snarky about something as dire as world hunger, failing economies and mental health. But it's rather ironic, isn't it?

2 comments:

Melting Mama said...

I understand it completely. With thirty containers of yogurt in my fridge.

Meghan said...

In my pre-wls required diet, I'd buy food with the full intention of chowing down and throwing up. It was for a brief period of time, but what forced me to stop was taking a good hard look at how WASTEFUL it was. It wasted so much food, and so much of our household money! So yes, I completely understand this post. Even now after surgery, I spend all day trying NOT to eat all the food I have available to me while kids starve. It's truly, truly sickening. And it also makes me wonder what would happen to us--those of us who struggled with weight and/or ED issues--what would happen if the world economy were in balance? We would probably be in balance too.