I CHOOSE

...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.

...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.

Monday, April 07, 2008

New Chapter

Anybody need a professional writer, editor or project manager? I'm for hire!

A couple weeks ago my work position was eliminated. (I had lost FMLA protection in mid-February.) Late last week I was offered three options: job, job and severance. Both jobs were well below my capabilities and my salary requirements. And both would have presented their own unique challenges.

So I decided to take the severance. Free agent. Scared to death and sad beyond belief.

I love my company and have worked there since June 99. I have missed the people the last few months. And now I miss the title. The security. The purpose.

What to do? Breathe in the moment, relax into the body. Realize that some circumstances have been beyond my control (and I've had to learn to live with that) and also know that this is MY decision. If I complain, there's no one to blame but myself. I honestly, though, feel like this is the right move. And if not? I'll figure that out later.

For now, I have to focus on today. Sticking to my meal plan. Making my appointments. Checking in with friends. It can't be different than any other day in my life. I'll remind myself over and over until it's true: I do amazing things. Maybe this is one of them

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jen,

Been there myself being forced to resign because of health issues. It turned out to be the best thing ever for my mental - and physical - health. It sucks the first months though. I felt a lot of loss, shame and embarassment. But it lessened with time. It does get better.

*S*

Anonymous said...

You know Jen, maybe this is just the perfect opportunity to go in with a clean slate somewhere else where no one knows you or your history. You are rebuilding yourself and your life. Sometimes that's a hell of a lot easier when you are in a totally new place! I wish you good luck in finding a new and wonderful job!

oh and hey, I was wondering whatever happened to your friend Mark? I think he had the WLS as well, back in 2006? I just wondered how he was doing.

Ok good luck! and have a great weekend!

Dena

JUST JEN said...

Dena, I haven't seen or talked to Mark in more than a year. But a mutual acquaintance ran into him at his workplace and said he looked fantastic.