Good days. Bad days.
My scale is now living comfortably in the Wauwatosa office of my therapist. I've vowed not to buy another or to even visit the "scale department" of ANY store. (I have no shame: I will stand on a scale ina store if I need a fix.)
I've been mailing my meal plan to my nutritionist. Some days I follow it. Some days I don't. This weekend was difficult since my 10-year-old niece was with me and I pretty much ate junk food all weekend. By Sunday, the guilt got to me and I began purging. Yesterday I had great intentions...though the emotional shift from the weekend didn't sit so well with my soul and I ended up eating more than necessary (and purging.)
When I get back from my retreat on the 8th, I'm calling to make an appointment to see my gastric bypass surgeon for my third year check-up. Despite the last 18 months of increasing eating disorder thought and behaviors, my weight is probably what it was a year ago. By his standards, that's success.
I figure the best I can do is just try. I wake up every morning grateful for a new day and another opportunity to try again. Today...I have a feeling it's going to be a good one. In fact, here's my meal plan:
Breakfast: yogurt, banana, whole wheat English muffin
Morning snack: apple, cheese
Lunch: tilapia, rice and carrots
Afternoon snack: Vivanno from Sbux (protein, fruit and dairy)
Dinner: hot pocket & cherries
Dinner 2: lunch leftovers or veggie burger and carrots
I give myself permission to switch my snacks, depending on the schedule. But I've found that the new Starbucks Vivanno Orange Mango Banana Smoothie is a very smart choice: filling and full of protein and all the other things I need to eat. I'm having a heavier lunch since tonight I have Connect2Reflect meditation from 6-8. (If you're in the Milwaukee area, stop by!)
Wish me luck!
I CHOOSE
...to love myself.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
...to treat myself gently, with patience and respect.
...to accept responsibility for every aspect of my life.
...to be present, awake, aware.
...to be open to possibility.
...to leap with the intention of landing.
...to do amazing things.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
This food thing
Posted by JUST JEN at 6:43 AM
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4 comments:
you are doing so great! cept for i have a bone to pick with two things. Hot Pockets?!?!?! ew. And second, Tilapia? fad fish, totally. Waterry and tasteless. Go for a Dover Sole or maybe some grilled shark. I am backing you, my friend, just needed to give you heads up.
hey, use poor folk can't be picky.thank god for aldi.
I got all excited about that Vivanno drink from SB, but that sucker has 32 gms of sugar! blah.
The sugars in the Vivanno are from the fruit and milk...not added sugar. Considering that a large banana has 16g of natural sugar, and that 8 oz of OJ has 22g of natural sugar, I think this drink is still a smart choice. This kind of sugar is actually the kind anyone needs for energy...unless you're an RNY person and dump. I don't dump on natural sugars...just the fake stuff.
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